Reclaiming the Feminine: Letting the Masculine Meet You at the Threshold

I have been feeling into a larger movement that seems to be happening within the masculine and feminine, both individually and collectively. For many women who have developed a deep capacity to perceive, feel, and hold emotional and relational space, there can be a subtle tendency to begin organizing around the masculine’s becoming.

We sense his wounds, we feel his protectors, we recognize the places where he is afraid to open, and because the feminine can often perceive what is underneath the surface, we can begin to overhold what is not actually ours to carry.

This can look like love, compassion, patience, or devotion, but underneath it there can sometimes be an old form of self-abandonment. The feminine begins asking, consciously or unconsciously, “How can I help him come toward me? How can I make this safer for him? How can I help him soften, heal, trust, or open?” And slowly, her attention moves away from herself and toward the project of the masculine.

I feel something different becoming possible now. For me, reclaiming the feminine is not about rejecting the masculine or becoming closed to relationship. It is about coming home more fully to the Queen essence within, to the Divine Self, to our own goodness, creativity, embodiment, pleasure, truth, and service. It is about allowing ourselves to become so rooted in our own field that we are no longer abandoning ourselves in an attempt to create connection.

This is something I feel deeply in my service to women. I am not here to help women become better at overholding the masculine or in pushing away/rejecting either. I am here to support women in coming home to themselves, to their own inner authority and feminine essence, and to the places within them that have been waiting to be reclaimed, including their inner masculine.

And I see a beautiful parallel in Gabriel's support to men. His work is not about asking men to orient themselves around women or to become what women need them to be in people pleasing mode. It is about supporting men in coming into their own groundedness, self-responsibility, integrity, and masculine center. In this way, the feminine and masculine can each have their own journey of becoming, rather than one continually carrying or facilitating the other's.

This feels important because Sacred Union cannot really be created through one person doing the work for both. There is a place where the feminine can simply become more fully herself and allow the masculine to meet her there.

I was reminded of this recently while working with a woman in a session around her inner masculine. Her masculine part was represented as being high in a tower, caught in an older fear frequency and unable to move toward the feminine. What struck me was that the inner feminine did not need to climb the tower, persuade him, rescue him, or figure out how to get him down.

She simply remained herself in the open field. As she played the chimes (which I was playing for her during the session), there was something light, beautiful, and magnetic about her presence, and eventually the masculine began to move out of the tower toward her, completing in an embrace of each other.

There was something deeply moving about witnessing that honestly. The feminine's power was not in getting the masculine to move. Her power was in being so fully herself that another possibility became available to him.

And then the masculine had to make his own movement.

I think this is an important distinction in both our inner and outer relationships. We can create a welcoming field without creating a pathway that someone else is required to walk. We can be warm, loving, receptive, and deeply available to connection without taking responsibility for another person's capacity to cross the threshold.

The feminine does not have to climb into the masculine's tower to prove that she loves him. She can remain in the field. She can tend her own altar. She can make beautiful things. She can create, serve, love, laugh, receive, rest, and become more deeply embodied in her own life. She can say yes to herself, not as a rejection of the masculine, but as a return to what is true within her.

And perhaps this is where a different kind of feminine magnetism begins to emerge. Not the magnetism of trying to draw someone toward us, but the natural magnetism of inhabiting ourselves so completely that there is something alive to meet.

This does not mean that the feminine becomes passive. It means that she stops confusing her capacity to perceive with a responsibility to intervene. She can communicate clearly and she can name what is true for her. She can have boundaries AND she can offer love. She can extend an invitation and then she can allow the other person to have their own relationship with that invitation.

There is tremendous freedom in this. She can stop asking, “How can I help the masculine come toward me?” and begin asking, “What happens when I simply become more fully myself?”

Perhaps the deeper invitation of this moment is not for women to close their hearts to the masculine, but to stop abandoning themselves in order to keep the door open. We can leave the door open without standing in the doorway waiting.

We can love without overholding and be compassionate without taking responsibility for another person's process. We can remain open without becoming porous. We can offer the field without carrying the journey.

And from that place, the masculine is given something equally important it feels like....the dignity of his own becoming and the agency to make his own choices.

He gets to find his way out of the tower. He gets to cross the threshold because something in him is ready to move, not because the feminine has convinced, rescued, healed, or carried him there.

This feels like a beautiful reorganization of the masculine and feminine, both within us and between us as we deepen in the inner sacred union grounds esp. Each becoming more fully themselves and each reclaiming their own ground.

Each bringing their gifts into the open field, where relationship becomes less about completing what is missing in the other and more about what can emerge through mutual presence, responsibility, and choice.

Love,

Jelelle

This pic of the three of us at the nearby Mother Mary grotto during my first trip out of the house in awhile feels like a representative of what I am offering here and what my movements have been since completing my long-term relationship. Emerging out of overholding, injury-induced immobility phase and sometimes heavy grief and now into more adventuring, being with my beloveds, arising in joy, creativity and allowing the one who is ready to meet me to find his own way to the field, experiencing this esp from within.