She With He: Inner & Outer Sacred Union - Free To Be She Chapter Twelve Excerpt

The Maturation of the Inner Masculine and Feminine

Inner sacred union is not a static realization. It is a living relationship between two evolving energies within you. Your inner masculine and your inner feminine do not arrive fully formed. They grow, respond, resist, transform, awaken, and soften over time. They learn each other the same way two human partners do… through intimacy, conflict, revelation, forgiveness, and devotion.

Your inner feminine mate is your sensitivity, intuition, feeling, creativity, longing, sensuality, and capacity for emotional truth in relationship. She is the innocence of your Maiden, the radiant lover of your Venus, the compassion of your Inner Mother, the heart-based leadership of your Queen, the discernment of your wise woman, the intuition of your Priestess, the resilience of your Dark Feminine… the river of your heart. 

She knows how to sense the soul of another, especially her Beloved partner. She knows when something is off before his mind understands why. She is the receiver, the fetcher of truth, the one who feels the mystery before it takes form.

Your inner masculine mate is your clarity, discernment, direction, structure, boundaries, steadiness, and capacity to act from embodiment instead of urgency in relationship. He is the mountain of your being. He holds the container that allows the feminine to feel without drowning. He brings coherence to her intuition, giving it a path to walk. He is the one who can say ‘yes’ from power and ‘no’ from clarity.

When these two forces are conscious of each other, they move in partnership.When they are unconscious, they drift in polarity and separation.

Most women carry an inner masculine, as described in a previous chapter, who has been shaped by survival, not by love. He learned to protect at all costs and to anticipate threats. He learned to tighten, plan, manage, and scan. He learned control because control was the only form of safety he understood. And because he was never trained and supported to feel, he learned to avoid the depths of the feminine. He could not hold what he could not face in himself.

Most women carry an inner feminine who has been shaped by abandonment, not by reverence. She learned to be pleasing to be kept. She learned to silence her need to avoid loss. She learned to be accommodating to stay safe. She learned to stay small so she would not be judged or shunned. And because she was never welcomed in her full expression, she learned to reach outward for the love she could not find inward.

These two do not trust each other at first. And they are not meant to. Trust is earned, not assumed. Safety is created, not inherited.

One of the most essential distinctions in inner sacred union is the difference between union and fusion. Fusion happens when the inner feminine collapses into the masculine for stability, or when the masculine tightens around the feminine to avoid feeling. Fusion feels like closeness but is actually entanglement. Union, in contrast, arises when each energy maintains its sovereignty and meets the other in shared ground. 

Fusion drains. Union uplifts. Fusion is rooted in survival. Union is rooted in intimacy. 

This discernment becomes a guiding light for both inner and outer sacred union. Fusion was the necessary and honored path of our evolutionary learning together and survival that brings us now to the portal of union. 

The inner marriage of union begins when the feminine is allowed to feel without being managed, and the masculine is allowed to lead without being feared. It begins when the feminine stops collapsing into helplessness and the masculine stops tightening into dominance. It begins when the younger parts of you are brought to the center of the relationship rather than pushed into the basement.

She with He: The Sacred Ground of Union With A Partner

The modern relational field is vastly more complex than the ancient temples where sacred union rites were enacted. Today we bring childhood trauma, generational wounding, soul fragmentation, and collective feminine-masculine distortions into our partnerships. We bring inner children, protectors, and unmet needs. 

This makes sacred union not only a spiritual path but an emotional and psychological initiation. Understanding this complexity allows us to meet sacred union with more humility and more compassion for the process.

So much has been imagined, idealized, and longed for in the name of sacred union with another person. The dream of the one who will complete you, awaken you, save you, or finally make love safe again lives deep in the feminine collective heart. These projections carry the echoes of lifetimes of separation and loss, and they can become altars to a love that seems always just out of reach. The phrase “sacred union” itself can become a promise of perfection rather than an invitation into embodied presence.

Yet, the truth of sacred union is rarely a fantasy. It is not the endless bliss, but the bliss mess…as I’ve called it and experience myself with Raphael.

The bliss mess is the holy terrain where love both soothes and stirs, where every unhealed edge is revealed in the mirror of another’s heart. It is a continual dying and being reborn through your connection. What makes it sacred is not that it is free from friction, but that both souls are willing to meet the friction through their own hearts, with transparency, curiosity, and devotion to growth.

At the core of true sacred union is the vertical connection: the inner reunion each partner cultivates through their own, ongoing individuation, reconciliation, and unification (IRU) process with the Divine. This is the ground of inner sacred union and Hieros Gamos alchemy as the vertical current of self-love, worth, and trust that roots each person in their own Divine essence. 

When both partners are nourished from this vertical well, what flows between them as the horizontal connection becomes an exchange of nourishing overflow rather than one that is grasping for completion. The nourishment and fulfillment levels of the transaction ground that is possible in the horizontal between two partners is directly related and dependent on what has been felt and freed up in the vertical, self-to-self, ground.

Without that vertical current, the relationship easily becomes fusion, projection, and dependency. With it, love becomes a living temple that continually refines and renews. This is how the feminine and masculine can move from survival and karmic cycles into transparent co-creation, from reactive wounding into radiant union.

In my own now seventeen-year journey with Raphael, sacred union has not been a destination we arrived at but a living initiation we continue to walk. It has been both crucible and sanctuary, revealing to us how the same love that creates bliss also calls forth shadow, immaturity, and fear.

What has sustained us has always been the inner work…the returning to our own Divine connection, the healing of our parts/soul aspects, and the remembering that our love is first and always a service to the Divine within us both.

From this foundation, the deepening of the Usness becomes possible…not as fusion or ideal, but as a living, breathing collaboration of two souls embodying love in form together.

It has called us time and again to the bravery of letting go of old grounds together to make ways for new ones. 

Love,

Jelelle Awen This is an excerpt from Chapter Twelve of Free To Be She: She with He I have been sharing a passage from each chapter of this book, my sixth book about awakening, spirituality, parts work, sacred union, and quantum soul reconciliation. Its release is on January 1, 2026…when it will be available to purchase in E-book, PDF, and print editions (and eventually an audiobook version in my voice).

This book is more like a transmission than conceptual or intellectual, more like a love letter from and with Divine Mother to all women and the men who love them. Long in the gestation, inspiration, and now..finally…the birthing and offering phases. I will also offer weekly meditation videos inspired by each chapter starting in January. You can take in all the chapter excerpts and videos plus links to purchase the book here.