𝙸𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙸’𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕. There have been grounds and gardens we’ve entered together that were truly blissful and spoke of deepening union and reunion. Indeed, these men were all soulmates somehow, with me for however long, until the shifting sands of love invited us to complete.
None of these bonds were simple. Every ripple of emotion within each of us was nuanced, holding layers of reaction sometimes that were being catalyzed by the potential of our romance, or even just simply by unknown karmic waves moving through. It could be bitingly painful at times to not understand what was going on and why the love couldn’t fully move or deepen between us.
So it is in romance - our attraction to one another is complex.
I feel as if I’m writing about this to say a tender goodbye to something that has held so much energy for me. This seeking of love on the outside, particularly with a man, is running its course in a certain way of relating to it. I’m writing this through tears, which don’t feel like pain or even ache, but perhaps a tender understanding of how hard it was on both me and the men I’ve been with to find our ongoing ground and why it was that way. I feel context being wrapped around it and a resolve around ending a long held pattern of relationship.
I harbor no bitterness in my heart. I have so much desire for my counterpart to truly join me in this life I’ve worked so hard for and allowing parts of me to hold onto grudges won’t allow him to come in. This heart I’ve worked so deeply on clearing and healing, returning to fuller awareness of my divine essence/self through the heart space and not just the evolving soul. I ache yet also deeply need to be met in that frequency and level of devotion/dedication.
Yet for now, letting go of the picture of him coming on the outside allows my own inner masculine to truly become that mate. Our inner sacred union dance together is finding its way, day by day.
He can meet me where an outer man can’t right now and even letting that in has proven to be an ongoing process of receiving each other on deeper and deeper levels. He energizes and embodies a masculine who is truly dedicated to his inner work with humility and self-love, something far beyond spiritual arrogance or ego, or a fear of where our bond could take both of us emotionally and karmically. Our growing resonance together represents what I may one day draw on the outside, and strengthens my resolve to stay put in my resonance field and no longer stray from it to try and accommodate a man.
Letting go into my inner masculine has truly taken YEARS. It has taken numerous men on the outside to reflect what I don’t want or need in a man in order for me to drop idealization or even deification of the masculine. I’ve worked with many different parts and soul aspects that have had this sacred union ache and desire, but have also needed to humbly admit that even they haven’t been truly ready for what it is that I would actually need in a mate as ‘Kasha’ - a deepening embodiment of my Divine Self. Now my inner masculine, “Anders”, can embody this mate that I desire in profound ways which I hadn’t experienced before.
Jelelle and Raphael’s relationship goes far beyond even the usual grounds of sacred/divine union. I’ve somehow known that since the day I met them, on some level, even without the full awareness of what I was picking up on. I’ve witnessed their bond for years now in all of its ups and downs, karmic clearings, and incredible heights of pure bliss and oneness.
This coming Sunday, our Sunday Service will be focusing on outer sacred union, so Raphael and Jelelle will be sharing and teaching about their journey and all they’ve learned from the ground of it, as well as offering a transmission and guided meditation to help connect you to your own counterpart mate.
It’s free to attend, though donations are welcome! You can find more info here.
I hope to see you there or future Sunday Services!
In love,
with love,
Kasha
If this resonates for you as something you'd like to explore deeper within, you can find info about 1:1 sessions with me and my beloveds here.
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