This writing about the Inner Protector is from Jelelle's Free To Be 5D book, which you can purchase in PDF, e-book, print and audio versions with links here
Inner Protector
The Inner Protector (according to the Divine Self Embodiment paradigm) is the energy inside of you that is loyal and vigilant. It is attentive and often anxious, compulsively on the lookout for any threats or sources of potential harm. It is acutely alert and constantly cautious, with eyes open and peeled toward the horizons of your world to find any potential enemies or threats. The Inner Protector is a masculine energy and often appears in a masculine form, as a knight, warrior, or other armoured guardian. Protectors can also show themselves as mythical animals, such as dragons, centaurs, or phoenixes.
We will refer to the Inner Protector as a ‘he’ from now on, even though sometimes they come in
a feminine form. The energy of the Inner Protector is always masculine though, no matter what
outer form they choose to express in.
The Inner Protector usually has some kind of weapon. They may use this weapon as a deterrent
to those who would harm them and also to actually do harm if it is absolutely necessary for self
defense. This weapon can appear in a physical form during a meditation visit with them, as a
sword, knife, or wand. Or it can be more subtle, related to using energies in certain ways as a
weapon. The Inner Protector may also have an invisibility cloak that he can use when needed to
make himself or other parts of you invisible.
The Inner Protector is very often the first part that we connect with in our SoulFullHeart process
work with people during sessions. Because it is the energy that is guarding access to the other
parts, starting your parts connection process with your Protector gives you access to the other
parts of the 3D Self, especially those that are usually suppressed and hidden such as the Inner
Teenager, Inner Child, Inner Punisher, etc. The Protector is the part of you that is 'standing at the
door' to protect these more vulnerable parts or to keep the shadow-based parts hidden. The
Protector controls the energy of what has been commonly called in psychology, ‘your defense
mechanisms’.
The Inner Protector energy seems to come in right away, usually at birth, to shield you from the
harsh, polarizing frequencies that assault you as soon as you are born. Your Inner Protector
forms into a very necessary 'suit of armor' to guard you in 3D life, that serves to protect your
porous energy field and physical body. Your Inner Protector seems to originally be intended as a
guide to you when you need it in order to navigate 3D life. It is one of the expressions of your
Metasoul’s Gatekeeper that can interface with your reality, which I’ll be offering more about in
the next section. It was meant to be more like a guardian angel energy than anything restrictive
or limiting.
Yet, over time in a 3D reality that can be so harsh and difficult, the Inner Protector’s energy can
transition to being more overprotective, restrictive, fearful, and controlling. As you experience
more wounds and traumas that are drawn to these unhealed wounds, your Protector becomes
more locked into its role as a guard to keep you from experiencing more hurts if possible. Layers
of defensiveness can build up around him and especially over your heart space or fourth Chakra
area.
In this state of 3D fusion, your Inner Protector is disconnected from his more porous soul
expression as the Gatekeeper of your Metasoul. In this version of himself, a thick fog is created
around him related to remembering other lifetimes/timelines. He also cannot provide much of a
bridge or channel to Divine Source or your higher dimensional Metasoul Aspects as he is so
fixated on 3D reality and your current timeline experiences.
People who are fused to 3D consciousness and not choosing to undergo the process of
awakening often have a very dense-feeling Inner Protector who is simply living the person’s life
as them. Their guardedness and defensiveness are obvious to those around them. You may know
people like this in your life and even have birth family members, friends, and mates who are
more like this. A 3D-anchored Inner Protector does not usually shift from this protective stance,
is rarely vulnerable, and often draws and creates repeatedly traumatic and hurtful experiences to
themselves and with others. This kind of Protector may use an overly developed mental body to
avoid feeling states and vulnerable intimacy.
Your Protector may show up in an effort to stay hidden and invisible or to follow others in their
leadership, even if they are domineering or abusive leaders. This strategy of remaining hidden is
often in order to avoid drawing attention to you that could be harmful, especially related to the
expression of soul gifts that your Metasoul was persecuted for in other lifetimes. Staying hidden
(even if you may consciously want to express yourself and share your gifts) is often connected to
a ‘hide or flight’ reaction that is purely instinctual and therefore the causes of it can be unknown
until you connect consciously with your Protector.
Inner Protectors are often very tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out. They can have strong feelings
of shame and guilt over not being able to protect you from the difficult situations you’ve faced in
your life and the hurts you’ve experienced because of those experiences. Many Protectors are
very hard on themselves around this, as if they somehow could have prevented you from
experiencing any trauma at all if they had just been more vigilant. They have a strong sense of
duty and have taken a ‘vow’ to protect you, so they tend to feel like they have failed to do this
properly.
As you move into more 4D consciousness during your awakening, your Protector is probably
finding it more challenging to protect you in 3D reality and also respond to the soul awakenings
from other timelines that may be happening. Bleed-throughs from Metasoul timelines awakening
can manifest in repeated nightmares, heightened emotional states not connected to any situation
in your current life, and seeing flashes of visions of traumatic situations and events, being drawn
to watch/study/take in resources from specific time periods/eras that you hadn’t before. These
bleed-throughs from other timelines are often overwhelming for your Protector, especially those
timelines connected to persecution of a Metasoul Aspect or them toward others, or ones
involving murder and suicide.
Your Inner Protector may be very ready to rest and hand over the reins to you in terms of taking
care of all the other parts. Yet, he may not be very aware of you as a mature, awakening, adult.
He may still see you and relate to you as an Inner Child or as an Inner Teenager, or as both.
Because Protectors are disconnected from your maturity as an adult, they cannot receive the
support and collaboration that you could provide for them. They often are not current in this way
until bridged to by you consciously through a meditative visit, drop in, or in a journaling
dialogue. Many Protectors are surprised to see that the ‘young child or teen’ they’ve been
protecting all this time has grown into a mature, awakening adult!
Because of this projection onto you as a child, the Protector is often deeply concerned about you
going into more areas of shadow exploration in this life and especially into other lifetimes. It can
create layers of blocks in your memory recall of your childhood, for example, so that you cannot
go there and be overwhelmed by what you feel. Inability to remember much about your
childhood, for example, is not actually a matter of memory of the mind, yet rather the Inner
Protector creating an energetic block to you connecting with the energies of the parts of you that
may be stuck there in suffering.
It is often the Protector that can keep you in loops of believing that you ‘don’t know’ or are
‘confused’ or ‘lost’ or ‘can’t remember’. These are all signs of an overly vigilant Protector that
hasn’t been bridged to and negotiated with. Negotiation with your Inner Protector in a conscious
way allows them to start to trust and let go of control. They can then open up more to their
Gatekeeper essence, providing pathways of access for you to connect with this-life and other
lifetime memories, traumas, and energies.
Conscious connection with your Inner Protector allows a whole new level of negotiation around
life changes, choice points, inner and outer shifts, emotional reactivity, and much more. Being
able to associate specific energies and certain reactions with your Protector provides a metaspace to where there was previously a fusion with them. You are then able to track and be aware of their defensive reactions, feeling when and why they are occurring.
Conscious connection with their energy allows you as a growing 5D Self to hold the space for
your own process and increasingly respond to parts of you in a loving, generous, mature, and
open way. Your Protector has opinions on all areas of your life and often important knowledge
that can help you. He can become an important advisor and guide to you in situations where that
is needed. Becoming a more empowered masculine energy, your Protector is able to help you set
healthy boundaries with others rather than repeat patterns of being abused and traumatized. They can help you to prioritize and focus on what matters most to your soul’s purpose and provide momentum for taking action toward the manifestation of this purpose.
Every Inner Protector I have met, in sessions with people and in my own personal work, has had
a loyal, truthful, and ultimately admirable energy. They often have a competent, empowered,
and powerful energy in their capacity that is often not expressed in the person’s life consciously.
They can be guarded, of course, as it has been a necessity for them to protect you in 3D life. Yet,
when offered a loving and compassionate bridge, and once they are seen by someone and
especially by you, they drop their guard down quite quickly and open up. They are so often tired
and ready to rest, eager to feel that there is a new way to do and be in life. I am always amazed at
how much the Protector changes and shifts through conscious and regular connection with them.
Most Protectors show up at first contact during sessions or during guided meditations, fully
armoured from head to toe and holding a weapon as well. Or they come forward as a formless
wave of energy that needs to be invited to move into a form that you can connect with. Their face
can be obscured at first and often they don’t want to give their name initially or even realize that
they have a name. Yet, often by the end of the very first session, they have shed some form of
that armor, shared a name with you, and are starting to feel more relaxed.
They also shift their perspective quickly to accept you as an adult and not just as your Inner
Child and Teenager. They want to feel there is an adult at home to supervise and take the reins,
after all, as it makes their life so much easier. They have often been a reluctant yet dutiful
babysitter to younger parts of you and they are ready to shed this role for something much bigger
connected to your soul purpose being fulfilled.
Eventually, through this conscious connection process, the Protector integrates back into the
energy of the Gatekeeper and also becomes an energy that expresses as your Inner Divine
Masculine. For women, this frequency of Inner Divine Masculine is an important counterpart
energy to your Inner Divine Feminine. For men, this frequency is the leading energy that allows
room and space for the expression of your Inner Divine Feminine. The ultimate purpose of the
parts work process is to bring these energies into balanced integration and sacred union
experience on an ongoing basis from within and ultimately with a sacred union mate if you
desire that.
We start with the Inner Protector in our sessions as it is the energy that is
standing at the gate of your castle (your essence), which we access in a meditation similar to
what is shared below in the video link. Negotiation with the Protector allows for opening out
access to the other parts, new perspective on your life situations, and a more expansive heart
space. We have found that negotiation with the Protector is so important that if it can’t be
accessed then the process is not ripe to be explored yet. Your Protector holds and protects your
sovereignty, so respecting them allows the process to be in alignment with your highest and best
good at all times.
Also, the Inner Protector provides a kind of safety valve for the process. They won’t allow the
deep diving that the process can take you into to go to a place that is dangerous or harmful to
you. I have learned to really trust the Protector around the rate and pace of someone’s process.
For those who have experienced invasive harm in other healing modalities or spiritual practices,
working with the Protector allows the experience of harm to be minimized as they can
consciously object to anything they don’t feel comfortable with or have concerns about. Very
often in many healing modalities, the Protector is bypassed by other parts of us who may have
less discernment and caution. Coming into a balanced negotiation with all parts of us allows for
healthy risk taking and diving into necessary waters, yet in a way that is supported by the
Protector.
If the Protectors are consciously connected to around the process, they actually become a key
aspect of integration and acceptance of the transmutation that can come from it. Healing
processes that do not work with or recognize the Inner Protector are bypassing our natural and
very necessary defense mechanisms, which precludes healthy boundary development. This is
very often why the results from them may not be long lasting or truly transmutational in a lasting
way as the Protector has been blocking the deeper healing from happening or going in. It
sometimes is very simply that the Protector couldn’t trust the practitioner or healer more fully
because they didn’t have access to their own Protector and other parts of themselves.
You invite your Inner Protector to become your ally as you explore the deeper terrains of the
parts of yourself. Rather than working around their fears and concerns, you ask them to share
with you what they are concerned about as you go deeper into your emotional and spiritual
healing. Very often, they know things that you do not know consciously yet, as they are
connected beyond the veil. Once turned around to be in collaboration with you, they very often
want to help you make difficult life changes that are perhaps overdue to happen. Their reluctance
transforms to bravery and you receive the gifts of that in the manifestation of empowered actions
and more sense of your own bigness.
I highly encourage you to meet your Inner Protector, even if that is as far as you go. Even a ten-
minute meditation, such as what is offered below, can provide a bridge to their energy. Many
people have shared with me over the years what a gift it has been to meet them with often tears
shed as the reunion occurs. You may need to do the meditation a few times to see and feel them,
especially if you are not used to engaging in creative visualization meditations. It’s also
understandable if you can feel them more than see them or see them but not feel them. Or hear
them but not see them. Or not hear them at all. This is just a reflection of how accessible your
Clair abilities are when being used for your own process, which is another area that connecting
with the Inner Protector can help to open up.
Sessions with a Facilitator can amplify access to them in a way that allows you to
more viscerally feel, hear, and see them. The Facilitator models for you how to respond to the
Inner Protector in an open, loving, and curious way. They ask open and curious questions that
allow the Protector to come out of their protective stance and begin to share. The Facilitator can
also help, through a combination of developed intuition and ability to feel parts through their
own process work, to identify what the next steps are in connecting with them and provide
follow up processes to assist in deeper openings. Your Facilitator can also help you to separate
and identify one part from another if they have become fused to each other, such as an Inner
Protector and an Inner Child.
These amazing Protector parts of us are so worth getting to know as their distrust moves to trust,
their concerns to acceptance, their reluctance to brave action, and their protectiveness to
openness with healthy boundaries!
Meditation to connect with your Inner Protector:
Meet Your Inner Protector w/Raphael & Jelelle Awen -
Journaling process to connect with your Inner Protector:
• Write a letter to your Inner Protector from your 4D/5D voice and energy, asking them for
a name you can call them by. After completing the meditation and/or after feeling them in
a session with your Facilitator, connect to the energy of your Inner Protector that comes
forward. Have this part respond back to you in a response letter with whatever they
would like to say.
Then, ask your Protector to answer these interview questions:
• Hello, I'd like to speak to my Protector (use name if you have one and ask for one if you
don’t), may I ask you these questions to get to know you?
(Wait for a response. If yes, proceed)
• Are you male or female?
• What do you look like?
• What does the world you live in look and feel like?
• How old are you?
• What part of my body do you relate to?
• Do you have a weapon and what does it look like?
• In what situations do you use this weapon?
• What is your job and mission?
• What do you primarily protect me from?
• In what ways do you protect me?
• How do you relate to me and see me (such as more a teenager or child than a mature
adult?)
• What does loyalty mean to you and why is it important (if it is)?
• How old was I when you began protecting me and why?
• Who in my family do you feel the most need to protect me from and why?
• Who in my life do you feel the most need to protect me from and why?
• Who in my family do you feel the most safe and comfortable around and why?
• Who in my life do you feel the most safe and comfortable around and why?
• What are your concerns if I become more intimate with others, including current
romantic partner or future partner?
• What are your concerns if I become more intimate with you and other parts of myself,
including aspects that may be 'emotionally crazy' or vulnerable, such as the Inner Child?
• What is your relationship like with my Inner Teenager?
• What is your relationship like with my Inner Punisher?
• What is your relationship like with my Inner Mother/Father?
• What are your concerns if I become more intimate with the Divine/God?
• What are some of your desires for me and my life?
• What do you feel my service of love soul purpose/mission is in this life?
• How do you help me achieve this mission?
• How do you hinder or limit me from achieving this mission and why?
• Thank you for talking with me. I’d like to speak with you again sometime and ask you
some other questions. Would that be ok with you?
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